Is it just my campus or could it be that we have guys in
campus who have no clue on how to use a toilet? If this is the case, and I
earnestly hope it is not, I can join the bandwagon to advocate for the overhaul
of t
8-4-4 system. I haphazardly jotted the following piece for our campus
publication after constant frustration and disappointment over the ill toilet
etiquette within the campus lavatories.
***
Even with all my love of words there are some words I use
with caution. Mind you, am not referring the curse and swear words; those I use
in abundance. Am thinking of two words most comrades would identify with:
intellectuals and scholars. These are words I dread and it is my opinion they
should be used sparingly. In our perceived pseudo intelligence, we can pass for
scholars and intellectuals but a pragmatic look at the things happening around
campus depicts otherwise.
I don’t mean to be gross but kindly allow me to talk dirty,
no I mean filthy. I want to talk about the act and art of shitting. I am aware of the effect that the use of the
words shit and art on the same line could have to our dear comrades in the
school that identifies with the latter. They are guys who have been on the
receiving end of unrelenting, caustic and seething criticism, at times
justified, though mostly wrong and overtly condescending. However, it is not my
intention to propagate this tired epithet; rather, I wish to question the
unbecoming behavior, which I believe irritates most of you too: toilet
etiquette. We all visit the loo and
there is an unwritten code of decorum we are expected to observe in those
cubicles. Here in campus, the activity is taken to another level making it an
art that require mastery if not perfection.
The first year is the introduction phase of how tortuous and
intricate defecation can be. The bowls are ever filled, the floors always
flooded the whole place is a mess. Getting accustomed to this situation is a
constant headache. Surely only an inveterate moron can sit on those bowls since
they are covered with excrement a few minutes after washing. This is replicated
in all hostels and it should shame you if you have not flushed the toilet today
after leaving your mess there.
For an institution full of the so called intellectuals, it
beat me why we still have guys who lack the basic manners of using a toilet.
May be that does not sound a lot but it scream of irresponsibility. If you
cannot flush a toilet after taking a dump then you have a big lesson to learn
from a three year old kid in a kindergarten. I bet even those who come from Nyakemincha have learnt how to use a
toilet. I used to blame lack of water
and clogged toilets, but now seeing it happen in the new washrooms confirms
that the problem lies with us.
It was a relief to see the completion of the external
ablution block but it is unfortunate that the artists have discovered them. The
sight of freshly furnished door and clear white tiles has triggered their
creativity culminating in a new form of art where the paint is the excrement
and their fingers are the brush. I cringe to think we have guys in campus me
who forget a t.p. but remember to take a pen with them to the toilet. I also
wonder how, when hanging precariously on the almost filled bowl, you still get
time to write on the toilet and smear the wall with your stool. Do you do this
in your home? If not, why do it here? What could you be thinking when you wipe
your underside with your bare hands?
I wonder if the administration should consider introducing a
compulsory course that should deal purely on how to take a dumb. Before then,
let’s try and change.
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